Samantha (omoffdm) wrote,

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A quiet night.

Ah, Good evening dearest Livejournal. Long time no write eh? At least I still think of you every 53 weeks to be exact. You know it's one of those thoughtful evenings where you know just think about everything when you don't want to. Here I sit at work mind you at 20 to 6 and the office is empty. No radios, no pointless chatter, and just desolate quiet. I enjoy this time I have on Tuesday (bowling nights, yes!). Sometimes, it's just better being alone. Or at this point it's not. I woke up this morning and felt awesome. It was weird. I always wake up tired and the ugh I don't want to go to that place today but you have to because well you know bills and the such. I was fine until I sifted through FB, saw his face, and you know purposely well not to but *click*. It's unbelievable how much that still kills me. It's even more unbelievable of how much he makes my heart race. I've yet to find that in anyone else. Nor do I think I want to. It's a scary feeling. Depressing feeling. Wishing it was different feeling.I still wake up from dreams about him. It's like a ghost is haunting me or just those 2 mirrors I broke way back when catching up to me with that bad luck. I miss my friends a lot. It's like a big empty hole inside me. New friends are great and I cherish them just as much as old ones but it's not the same. With old friends you go way back, experience "first's" (dance's, boyfriends, fights, etc.), hanging out, and all the weird fashion's. Somethings just can't be replaced. That's a hard lesson life. I wish I've done things differently, said the right words and not the wrong ones, acted differently, just wish I could change things that already happen. Yo, Jesus, where's my time machine at?! Not yet possible. Ick, that reminds me of the 520pages of The Time Travelers Wife which was 238pages too long. ::sigh:: I don't know what to do anymore. I wish there was a magic 8 ball to tell me which path to take. If only life was so simple. However, this may sound sad, I'm not feeling that right now. Don't misconstrue me, please. I've started bowling again which reminded me how much I LOVE and MISSED it. It was one thing missing from my life and it makes it good. I'm in first for everything. Not surprising there. Ha! I've gots me a tourney in April that I WILL win money at...LOTS and LOTS of money...So, that is good. Plus having the title of Pennsylvania's Women's Bowling Champion sounds pretty hot to me. Go Sammie! Alas, it is time for me to depart so until another 53 weeks or shorter time, I bid you adieu.
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